Connection vs. Cultivation
So what’s the real difference?
In August, Non-Corporate Girls LLC, launched our newest event series called The Art Of. The series is our version of a masterclass, but in more engaging formats with various experts around specific topics. For the kickoff, we focused on The Art of Networking—a topic that, in theory, seems simple, but we all know it’s not. Networking is an art, and we wanted to spend some time unpacking it with guest speakers. If you’re interested, check out the recap and sign up for the NCG newsletter to stay updated on future sessions.
Now, back to the topic at hand. While planning the event, a key question came up: Do you remember your first networking event, and what was that experience like? I’ve been reflecting on this because my networking journey is extensive, and I had to dig deep to remember my first real event after undergrad. So let me set the stage for you...
I remember being invited to what seemed like a solid event with some heavy hitters in the room. It was a fashion event, so of course, I had to dress the part. But once I arrived, I was terrified. I felt like a deer in headlights—awkward AF. As an introvert/extrovert, I wasn’t prepared. My social battery was running low, and I felt invisible pressure not to be just another face in the crowd.
After a mini meltdown/silent panic attack, I vowed to stop being a wallflower. I mentally rehearsed my name and pitch and made my way to where the food was coming from. One thing about me, I’ll always find the food! I figured it would help: I’d be visible but not awkward, and most people like food, so maybe I’d meet someone. Two seconds after I grabbed a bite, someone approached me and joked about how smart I was to stand near the food (win!). We got to talking, she complimented my outfit (double win!), and she introduced me to her group. That moment broke the ice for me. Three hours later, I’d had conversations with more than five people, handed out my cards, and walked out feeling proud.
Funny enough, I don’t have a green thumb for gardening, but I do for relationships. I plant seeds and nurture them. It’s a long game, but one that’s been fruitful for me and those around me.
By Definition:
Connection is a relationship where a person, thing, or idea is linked to something else.
Cultivation is the act of growing something or improving its growth.
Here’s the truth: Most people understand that networking is important. The problem is that while they succeed in making connections, they often fail at cultivating them. Both are necessary for growing your network authentically.
Growing up, I didn’t have the language for being a “connecting cultivator,” but my actions said it all. I was always the one who knew someone that could help with xyz and could connect the dots. This carried through undergrad, where I built a network of teachers, students, and community members. Post-undergrad, with a few awkward moments here and there, I started fine-tuning my personal strategy. I realized I thrive best in 1:1 connections, and that’s been a game changer for me.
As someone who often speaks on networking strategies, I’m frequently asked, “What’s the trick to not being overwhelmed with follow-ups, aka the cultivation part?” To be honest, there’s no trick—it’s just about putting in the work. And many people simply don’t want to do it. Cultivating your network isn’t about knowing everyone or staying updated all the time. It’s about planting seeds, nurturing them, and giving them space to grow.
This can happen in so many ways:
Following up after an event via phone, text, email, or DM
Engaging with someone’s content on social media
Taking the initiative to grab coffee, drinks, or dinner when it feels right
The list goes on! In my network, there have been instant connections and nurturing, then there have been others where more of a long game was necessary. Each are important! You set the cadence on this and it is extremely important to give yourself space to do this in ways that work for you.
I’ve honed some solid strategies to support networking. If you need more help, feel free to book a consult, and let’s chat.
Before I close, don’t forget to:
🌐 Learn About Non-Corporate Girls and check out our our archive of episodes
👥 Sign-Up for NCG Expert Hub - a space to share your expertise to our community
As always, share this with a friend to sign up because sharing is caring.